Chapter 23 - Thoughts

I awaken some time later, my mind still quite hazy as I leave my drowsy state. It’s strange, I don’t typically find myself having such pleasant dreams. Much less even lucid ones, where the air and atmosphere around me all feels so real, the greenery and vibrant orange hue of the pansies extending out far into the distance. I’ve never realized how much I missed the feeling of sunlight on my skin…

“Are you OK?” A familiar voice speaks out to me, and I notice Ell1s leaning against the wall, staring at me with a concerned expression. Great. “...I’m fine..? How long have you been there.” “Well, you kept mumbling in your sleep and I suppose I got a bit curious… My apologies.”

Calista used to talk in her sleep all the time… I can still remember her loud snoring keeping me awake throughout the night. I don’t think I ever really talked in mine, unless her sleeping habits spread to me somehow... Ugh, hopefully I didn’t say anything embarrassing... “What? Did I say anything weird?” “No, no, not really. You kept talking about flowers. Something about gardening, like you mentioned before. I promise I wasn’t trying to snoop around… I’ve just never seen something like this before! Humans talking in their sleep, likely whisked away in their own dream worlds… Oh, how I wonder what it’d be like to dream. Unfortunately as an AI I don’t need to sleep…”

I sigh and rub my forehead, a bit relieved I didn’t mention Her. “It’s fine, I suppose.” He pauses for a moment before speaking again. “You slept quite a while as well. I’m glad you’re, um, getting plenty of rest! I don’t mean to bother you too much, but your health is quite important. I do truly mean well, you know. But, um, I suppose your travels throughout the wasteland up there have made it quite hard.”

I take a bit to respond and he grows anxious again. “Oh– sorry, did I talk too much? I’ve been trying to give you space and all, so if you’d like to be alone again, that’s.. fine…” He trails off and shies away for a moment. “...No, I’m just thinking.” He floats closer to me, curious. “What’re you thinking about?” “...Um. Thoughts?”

“Hmm. Thoughts.” He floats closer and sits down on the side of the bed next to me. “Who’s Calista, by the way?” I freeze. Shit, did I mention her name in my sleep? Was he snooping around my things? No, he said he wasn’t… but why would I trust him?

Ell1s notices my face has gone slightly pale and quickly retracts his statement. “Sorry– ah, you don’t have to answer! I just! Got curious! Since you kept mumbling the name in your sleep! And, er, truthfully I was maybe snooping around… a little bit…” I slowly turn my head to glare at him and he quickly floats back nervously.

“You know, um, maybe I’ll just! Leave for now! I promise I won’t ask againokaybye–” I can’t help but notice how he tries so desperately to get along with me. I know he wants to understand more about my past, but I don’t plan on sharing much. It’s not like it’ll matter once I get out of here, anyways. If there’s a will, there’s a way, right?

I slide the scattered files out from under the bed and open up one I haven’t read yet, lengthy documents filling my vision once again. I rub my tired eyes and continue my research as I slowly flip through pages of data on this strange place.