Chapter 31A - Wandering

The clock on the wall faintly ticks in the background as I rummage through boxes of rations. Upon further exploration, I discover cans of soup on one shelf and various other unlabeled goods on another. Maybe these will at least taste decent…

I heat up the can of soup and sit down at one of the tables, finding myself a tad more lonely with nobody else to sit with. Strangely enough, it feels even more empty in this place without Ell1s and his constant ramblings… but for now, I take the time to enjoy some well-deserved peace and quiet.

I wonder where he went off to.

It’s not that I want to deal with him again after what just happened, but knowing him I suspect like he’ll start to feel bad and turn up again eventually. I quietly think to myself as I fidget with my scarf and take a few reluctant sips of the soup in my hand. I sigh, exhausted, but no longer hungry as I finish my food and stand up from the table. I suppose I could walk around for a bit to clear my mind.

I weakly stand up from the table, and step back out into the hallways for a quick stroll. I come across a few storage rooms I haven’t seen yet, but I don’t have any use for the various documents scattered around anymore. It’s strange how much more pointless my past efforts seemed now, the determination I once had shattered across the floor. I’m not particularly heartbroken about it, but with how things turned out in the end, I don’t see a purpose in trying anymore.

The words Ell1s said still reverberate in my head.

I wouldn’t have gotten much further anyways.

Maybe he was right.

I wander around a little more, approaching the library room before noticing another green flash of light in a nearby corner, quickly disappearing.

Ugh… he seems to be lurking around again. Is it really that hard to stand by your words and consider leaving me the hell alone? I grit my teeth in annoyance, a habit I’ve had as long as I can remember.

After a few minutes more of pointless wandering, browsing through my thoughts without a particular goal in mind, I walk into the library and browse the shelves, occasionally picking up a book and flipping through the pages. My eyes scan through the intricate words as I skim through each paragraph, searching for a topic of interest.

Once I find something that should keep me busy for a few more hours, I look for a chair to lounge in, until I end up falling asleep again, until my eyes spot a familiar figure in the corner.

Ell1s, in his ridiculous librarian attire, is floating in the corner, engrossed in a holographic book. He doesn’t notice me until his eyes skim back up to the top of the page and he realizes I’ve been standing there for a few uncomfortable seconds. He quickly shrinks down out of anxiousness and quickly tries to come up with a poorly-made explanation as to what he’s doing here.

“Um… pay me no mind… I’m just here… reading… stuff……”

“Are you following me?”

“What?! I’m- Well- I mean- What, no, of course not. Like I said before, you’ve got everything figured out on your own, so just ignore me. I’m simply here, er… Reading. Because this is. A library. Um. Yeah.”

I shoot him a piercing glare and he panics, quickly disappearing in an instant to escape the awkward situation. I sigh and take a seat, opening one of the books I’ve collected and trying to escape my thoughts by filling my mind with vibrant stories described by all of the words on the pages.

I reach a stopping point and pause for a minute in silence, before carefully lifting up my shirt and staring at the scar on my chest, no longer hidden by the bandages covering it. My hand glides over the once-bloody wound, now healed and repaired with new skin.

Time flies, huh…

How many months have I been stuck in this place now?

I find myself yearning for the sun, feeling the gentle light on my skin and letting it shine down across the lively earth around me. Nowadays, it’s covered by the clouds, a layer of ash and dust covering the clear blue sky I once knew. It felt like I was trapped in an eternal nuclear winter.

I’ve already started to forget a lot of my travels and the pain I felt trudging through the snow each day. The longer time goes on and I spend day after day in this place, the memories fade away a little more.

So, for just a little longer, I reminisce about the things I once had, a comforting memory in a newfound desolate and empty world.