Chapter 33A - Greenhouse

Ell1s enthusiastically guides me down a hallway I must’ve missed while exploring, the walls lined with various doors I don’t recognize. Eventually, he stops at one, and gestures for me to walk inside.

It’s a large room full of empty plant light growing boxes, with storage compartments along the walls lined with bags of soil and various labelled seeds.

v“Ta-da!! This is the facility’s little greenhouse room! It was built to grow hundreds of different plants, as well as a number of fruits and vegetables in case the rationed food ever ran out! I… probably should have told you about this sooner, since I know the rations aren’t the most appetizing, but I believe you vaguely mentioned something about gardening before, so… maybe this is something you’ll like?”

I take a step into the room, spending a few minutes looking through the various seeds in store. There’s all kinds of different fruit and vegetable seeds, but also a variety of flowers as well.

“...I used to grow all kinds of plants in the past, with my girlfriend, Calista.”

Ell1s seems a bit taken aback that I mentioned her name, but doesn’t question it further.

“That’s nice! Do you, um… have a favorite flower by any chance?”

“Orange pansies. They were her favorite as well.”

I grab one of the clay pots stacked in the corner along with the other gardening supplies, and spend time filling it with soil and carefully planting a seed inside, before watering it and putting it under the light. I sigh and lean against the wall, unsure.

“...I hope it grows. I was never as good at gardening as her.”

“What? Don’t doubt yourself, Lena! I’m sure it will!”

“I don’t know. It just doesn’t come naturally to me like it did to her. She always had to help me with remembering to water the plants and everything, and there’s no way I can grow perfectly blooming flowers every time like she did.”

Ell1s frowns and leans against the wall next to me.

“Well… it doesn’t mean you can’t practice and get better! Just look, this is a huge opportunity to improve! And in the end, nobody’s perfect! It doesn’t hurt to try, you know? Mistakes make us human. Well- I’m not human, but, you get the point. Go on! Plant some more! Wouldn’t you prefer some fresh vegetables to eat rather than some boring old rations?”

“...Yeah…”

I spend a couple of hours getting my hands dirty with soil and planting various fruits and vegetables. Ell1s stands by idly, occasionally chiming in to give advice or rant about the unique details about each plant I discover and carefully place into the soil.

By the time I’m done, the room is lined with clay pots, full of plants waiting to sprout. Exhausted, I wash the soil off of my hands, and sit down on the floor. Ugh, I’m getting dizzy again…

“Hey, don’t work yourself too hard, okay? If it’s alright, I can water them for you! There’s little sprinklers overhead that I can turn on to keep them nice and hydrated!”

“That’s fine. I guess I’m just used to doing all the work. I burn myself out a lot.”

“Well… it’s okay to take breaks! I encourage you to be less hard on yourself, Lena. Maybe I’m a bit hypocritical, because I should probably do the same to myself, but you get the point.”

Ell1s gives me a warm hearted smile and pats me on the shoulder, the light phasing through my skin. He sighs and sits back on the floor next to me, suddenly becoming frustrated.

“You know, sometimes I kind of hate being a hologram. There’s no way for me to really interact with the things around me! I can’t move things around, or clean stuff if it gets dirty… it just bothers me sometimes! Sure, there’s a lot of impressive things I can do that humans can’t, and I have access to all this data and knowledge, but it just feels… limiting. I wish I could do more…”

I think for a bit before deciding to respond.

“I mean… I think you’re enough. Like you said, nobody’s really perfect. But I get the frustration with that. I guess the best you can do is try and make the best of it, rather than making the worst of it. Something like that. I’m not good with words.”

“No, no, that was a great explanation! The best you can do is make the most out of everything! I suppose sometimes it’s little things like this that mean a lot.”

“You’re right.”

“Still, though… I can’t help but dream! I wish I could become human, maybe for a day or so, just to see what it’s like…”

“For example: Having a sense of taste! I’ve heard so many miraculous descriptions of the tasteful sensations of food, but I’ll never get to experience it myself… Oh! And touch! Since I’m just a projection of light, I’ve never exactly been able to interact with objects. I’m missing out!”

He sighs and the room returns to silence again, one of his numerous rants coming to a sudden end.

“I mean, as a trade-off though, I suppose having access to all of this knowledge and info is nice…”

He pulls up holographic screens full of data, with all kinds of graphs, carefully crafted research, and obfuscated words displayed in binary. I decide I should probably speak up and try to chime into the conversation.

“I’d say it’s still impressive. You know all kinds of facts and things that the average person wouldn’t know, which at a glance would make you seem intelligent, but honestly, you just act like a huge, anxious nerd. In a good way if that makes sense.”

“See! There’s benefits to being a hologram! …Kind of! You know, like you said… make the most of it! Yeah!”

I try to stand back up, but a wave of dizziness and nausea washes over me, and I suddenly fall back down in a daze.

“L- Lena?! Are you alright? Take it slow, okay..?”

“I’m fine, I just–”

“No, you’re not! Sit down for a bit longer, alright? I really don’t want you to hurt yourself even more…”

Before I knew it, we had already spent a few hours chatting together. Well, more like Ell1s talking my ears off and me listening to him. I used to hate it, but I guess now I don’t mind it too much anymore.

I want to deny it, but it’s kind of nice having someone to talk to by my side again. I never realized how lonely I was before.